Gamer Grrlz

Stay Awhile, And Play Diablo Tetris

Diablo plus Tetris? Well why don’t they just start selling weed sprinkled with crack? Oh wait, they do sell that. Well why don’t they just sell candy flavored canna-beer then. Please. Like, now. Sell candy flavored canna-beer!

Beware of the game by the way. Not only does it have the potential to be highly addictive, its rules are also a little different from traditional Tetris. You may also find yourself suddenly at the end of the game having accumulated enough points to reach level 30 without quite knowing how. Still trying to figure that one out.

[XY Games via Technabob]

I Told The Witch Doctor I Was In Love With…Her! Diablo III Female Witch Doctor Revealed

SOLD! I so know who I’m gonna be Diablo III now. Not Monk, not Barbarian. I’m playing as this Witch Doctor wench. She looks bitchin’.

As Gamer Grrlz readers know, we’re taking an extra look at the feminized version of each of the Diablo III classes, both because I am the blog god (not to mention a huge Diablo fan) and I can do what I want, and because it’s always nice to see Blizzard keep the gender options open.

Above is the female witch doctor’s character art, below her in-game render and some gameplay screen shots (click to enlarge, natch). Oh and while we’re here, don’t forget Diablo II had a new patch out, 1.13.

Click here for more on this character from Blizzard’s Diablo III page. Click on the Kotaku link below for more screen shots.

[Kotaku]

Diablo III Female Barbarian Revealed

My enthusiasm for the female Barbarian design from Diablo III is sprinkled with a little bit of amusement today. Kotaku was all over this design, praising it for its adequate coverage of the female form, the lack of which is often a complaint in gaming circles. In general, video game Barbarians don’t wear much, but this female Barbarian is relatively well-armored. Yay, sexism is over!

What I find funny, though, is that for all their praise on how much her body is covered, Kotaku ignores the most relevant and oft-heard complain regarding armor, video games, and the female form: lack of breast protection. Now, I won’t get into the inherent sexism behind “Male Barbarians are tough, they don’t need armor. Females, however, need to be decked out like they’re a one-woman army.” But I will laugh heartily at Kotaku’s assertion that this is progress. Who cares if your shoulder pads look like they could take on the legions of hell all by their pretty little selves. If an enemy can easily sink a butter knife through your chest, its over. No amount of forearm coverage is gonna save you.

Don’t get me wrong, I think she looks bad ass. But with her most vital organ so easily exposed to legions of spear wielding monkey demons, she’s gonna have to be.

[Kotaku]

Diablo III Female Monk Designs Revealed

One thing I love about the upcoming Diablo III is the new system with the genders and classes. No more sex/class restrictions. Now there is a female and male version for each.

The Monk was previously announced as one of the new classes, but only the male design was released. This past week, they finally gave us a glimpse at the very Susan Powter/Ivy-esque female version. Above on the left is the in-game render, on the right is the character art. There have been a lot of complaints about her “mannish face”, “lesbian hair”, and her “too big for a warrior monk” boobs, but I for one like her look. Its like any second now, she’s going to turn her head and start crooning “Sweet dreams are made of this…”. Love it.

[Blizzard]

Good To See You: Diablo III Screens

I would be remiss (remiss means retarded, right?) if I didn’t post the new Diablo III screens. And yes, the minute I saw these, I gave up looking for my Diablo II install discs forever, and finally bought a digital version of Diablo II Lord of Destruction. I am a sucker.

Here are three screens, check out more at the Joystiq gallery, linked below.

[Joystiq]

Anyone Playing The Diablo II Beta?

I’d like to hop on Diablo II LOD and participate in the beta on the recent 1.13 patch, but sadly, I cannot find my install disc (bought a new computer after I moved. No sign of the disc. I think she quit this bitch.) Anyone playing right now? I’ll live vicariously through if I must…if that’s okay…please….tell me what’s its like!

Stay Awhile, And Listen! Diablo II Rap “Bind Those Keys”

So much better than that insipid Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? garbage that’s been going around lately. Or maybe I’m just a Diablo fan girl. Rakinishu!