Game Over, Man: Why I Now Support Video Game Euthanasia
Well when you look at it this way, it almost seems more humane to let them die young. This tee depicts life after the game is long over, once the brown has faded from Mario’s beard, old Yoshi has long passed on, and Peach’s beauty has long given away to hunchbackism.
Above, women’s medium, $21, by FuzzyInk. 
See, This Is Why We Always Clean Out Our DS Photo Cache
Ah, the younger generations version of a Myspace pose, the ole vomit finger. Or maybe he’s just telling Gamestop exactly what he thinks of them. Either way, always remember to erase the photos on your DS before sending off to the reseller, kiddos!
[Craigums Twitter]
Kirby’s Epic Wang
“What happened to Kirby”? A massive erection, that’s what. Which raises all kinds of concerns, because in Kirby’s case, he is what he eats.
[Kotaku]
Invaders! Possibly From Caves!
Geez, I knew Space Invaders was ancient, but not that ancient. $15.00.
Comic Con Attendees Have A Gay Old Time
So I guess Westboro Baptist Church’s regular schedule of hate mongering and eating babies freed up a bit, because they decided that this week would be a good time to harass innocent comic book nerds. That’s right, the whole inbred family packed up and headed out to San Diego to protest…I dunno, gay spandex or something. Luckily, the Comic Con peeps were ready for ‘em.
They also chanted “What do we want? Gay sex! When do we want it? Now!” Never been so proud to be a geek in my life.
I hope one day to participate in a Westboro Baptist Church protest myself. With a big sign that just says “LOUD NOISES”.
Can’t Read His Pixel Face
Since I’m super tired trying to pull weight at The Tanooki in preparation for E3, this is a repost. It’s like when you were a kid and your Mom would tell you that dinner was leftovers that night, and she’d try to sound all apologetic but really she wasn’t. Yeah, like that. You’ll get what you get and like it.
This T shirt design explains perfectly why Mario would never be a participant on Cops. We already know him by that face. Entitled Name Suppression, you can pick this up for $19.95. From Glennz Tees.
Adult Swim Not Bringing Its Games To Retail Just Yet
If you were looking to spend perfectly good money on games that you can already play for free, well, I have bad news. Adult Swim games probably won’t see a retail release any time soon. When asked about the possibility of retail Adult Swim games during an Aeropause interview, Jeff Olsen, the creative director over at AdultSwim.com said:
We’re going to keep publishing a couple of original games a month, keep making iPhone games, and keep trying to make everything better. The retail shelves should feel safe from our attack for the time being.
That’s a shame. I understand App Store and web games are Adult Swim’s niche right now, but I really think there’s no game better suited for the Wii’s multiplayer and motion control than Hooker Zombie Nightmare. Also, I demand 5 Minutes To Kill Yourself as the first game to come out for Project Natal. Yes.
“Press X To Jason” Is Parody Magic
In a GamesRadar’s recent article, “Games Summed Up In Five Words”, under Heavy Rain were: “Jason! Jaaason! JASON! Jason! Jaaason!” I couldn’t say it better myself. But someone else found a way, with Press X To Jason. If you want the Heavy Rain experience, minus the quick time events, gorgeous cinematics, and action-thriller story, this is it—the moment in the game where your underlying sense of panic and frustration is greatly heightened with the realization that pressing X to “JASON!” doesn’tdoagoddamnthing. Relive the magic, or experience it for the first time, with Press X To Jason.
[Joystiq]
Oh La La Cooking GaGa
Aw, that’s cute and all, but I’d be terrified of Lady Gaga’s cooking. As we all know, she doesn’t always use the freshest ingredients. And by freshest I mean “not poison”:
Image by CapitanNathan, on deviantART.
[Kotaku]
(Don’t Eat The) Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow
Now I can pee on the snow without a funnel and rubber hosing! Wheee! I mean, Weeeee!
Ho Ho Ho Yellow Snow (previously a popular flash game) is now available in the App Store for the bargain price of $0.99.
Pandemic Says Goodbye With Flare
Pandemic Studios (who made Mercenaries 2 and therefore are of importance to me) closed their doors today in the most befitting and gangster of fashions. Now that’s how you get fired! Office Space style.
[YouTube]
How To: Cheat At Video Games
If you’ve never visited BasicInstructions, then you really should. Like, now. Clear your schedule. It deserves an afternoon of your time.
Twitter Is Serious Stuff Guys
I love these dramatic readings of celebrity Tweets. They almost makes me wish someone would do this to Kanye West’s Myspace blog. But then, I don’t need to hear the oral equivalent of a seizure. via Laughing Squid
Support Our Troopas
I would so hang out with this guy. Or lady, whatever. I don’t know the gender of our perpetrator here. It could totally be Peach on a smear campaign.
Masterminded by GoBearTrap, via Flickr.
If you look at the sign on the right, he’s actually on “Pleasant St.” Ha.
